Monday, January 24, 2005
dgsgf
ok... am back in st nix now and seriously, this is THE place. aldoh there are sucky ppl here but it is THE place. there's no where else like it. the food, the adorable teachers, the roof garden, the classrooms, the library, and the canteen, the staff room, the upper and lower concourse... gosh i nv realised how much i miss this place until like, i really alighted from the bus at the bus stop, opp macs.....
there's really no where like st nix. it rox and i miss everything here. aldoh the juniors look at us in this wierd way but i dun care!! i wanna feel the school. there's THE feeling here that's always dere fer mi..
But of cos. after all, ppl dun forget things, it's jus that they haf yet to remember those things.
it seemed so long ago that i was still an official part of this school, when mi and my frenz were all goofing around, never thinking of what it would be like if we were to all go off fer jcs. now i regret not treasuring my time here so now i can only be back as a half-outsider, half-sn family member.
if only i were here earlier i would seriously scream at the whole canteen. i mean, hello you ppl are like teens and u jus leave all your dirty plates and bowls dere fer the uncles and aunties to clean up fer you?? they're not your maids or anything of that sort. you guys should be thankful fer them cos if not fer them you wont even be having any decent food to eat. and is this how you repay them? wat happened to the sn spirit? i dare not imagine wat the next generation of youngsters will be like if they continue to hold this kinna attitude towards everything that has been provided fer dem, to benefit them. if they're so pampered i dun think they can survive in the society. so it's jus fer them to learn it the hard way.
man, really felt like smacking them.
but ya i met sylvia!! my cute lil junior, one of the only few juniors i mix wif and she's as cute as ever!! hehz. she was the only person i've pinched so far other than the last time i pinched px. jus couldnt help it, her face had the words "pinch my cheeks" all over it and as i always say, you should folow your heart, which was exactly wat i did!! heh heh luv ya gurl. cant wait to see you again so that i can pinch you and mess up your hair all over again. wahaha.
ok i'd better go now gonna go look fer cym to get my chinese debate prize money! ^_^
1/24/2005 03:55:00 PM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
.....
Hmms lets see.. I haven went sch fer 2 days cos I was sick and I ponned one ½ days so far.. not bad not bad. Still has yet to find anyone to stick to whos new to me.. so far Chinese and historys been real interesting, esp Chinese. Ok, im china so wat?
Still dun really like it here. Maybe cos of dem. I mean, I can understand how its like but maybe they should jus spare a tot fer others. well I do mind but I dun intend to do anything abt it. Firstly cos ive got no rite to do so and secondly cos if I intervene itll b against my personal principles.
Everyday ive got nth to do, even if I get to b dismissed early im still all alone at home.. no ones home til nite. And when my uncle asked mi why I did not ask any of my frenz to come accompany mi, I dun dare to tell him ive got no one to ask to come here to b wif mi.
These few days I really miss u lots. U said ull contact mi once u reach there but its already been five days.. everyday I wait fer ur news.. are we distancing alr? I need ur ans. Yes I hope u can get new frenz and adapt well but I really miss u.. I knoe I matter lots to u as u matter lots to mi but this is not the first time.. so the only thing I can do now is still jus wait..
Things are so diff w/o you ard the place, cos I can no longer call u to chat fer as long as I wan, I can no longer see you whenever I wan, now I can find no one to discuss many matters wif.. I cant find anyone else to celebrate certain occasions wif, I can find no one else to attend particular stuff wif.. and youre always so busy. I noe its not your fault. Cos u haf your life. But you are alr part of my life and I cant really adapt. Maybe thats why im refusing to get close to ppl. Cos youre the first person I ever approached. I noe nobody will replace you, jus like nobody will replace wh in my heart.
It seemed so long ago that the three of us were playing ard, having fun. It seemed so long ago when we were still chatting together in class.. it seemed so long ago when the three of us took the neoprint together, the only neoprint that the three of us took together. And the picture only had half of my face on it so I had more of the bigger stix.
I still rmb how we racked our brains fer unique celebrations, the pranks, the set-ups, the preparations, the singing, everything that happened btw us. Are they still fresh in your mind? Will I ever get to see you again fer the rest of my life? Will my place in your heart b replaced? I noe this will nvr happen, but I need signs. Confirmation. Assurance. I love you.
As long as you are you, theres nth I can do but to love you, because you are you, and I am i.
I love you.
1/11/2005 09:05:00 PM
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
...
Its the second day of sch and Im down with sore throat, cant even tok properly now.. fine.. I think im the only one who has yet to make a new fren in my group of frenz.. ok so Im antisocial fine? Not like theres anything I can do to change myself completely in a split second. And actually I quite like it this way. I dun like my og. And I cant wait fer orientation to end.. maybe lessons will b better.. maybe my civics moral class will b better.
I noe to them its natural but cant she see that the world consists of other ppl too? I noe how she thinks, we didnt chat that nite fer nth. But she doesnt understand how we think. While she does that shes making mi feel left out and making her feel even more exasperated. If this goes on then I dunno wats gonna happen to me and to them. Im glad I had her but she wans her fer herself. Nvm.
My uncles words made mi think a lot and grow up a bit more. Its hard and it takes time but im constantly trying. I hope he can see that. And I will b forever grateful to him fer all his love and concern fer mi, his blessings fer mi and his confidence in me. Theyre the only ones who do not look down on mi but spur mi to go on, so I will not give up even if I cannot find new frenz. I haf pengxiao. I haf wen han. I haf ccd. I haf pot. I haf my class clique. Thats alr more den enuf fer mi. I will strive on. Not to prove it to dem, but prove it to myself. To repay my uncle. To tell him: uve loved the correct person. Thank u. I haf not disappointed u.
No matter wat happens, I will not give up. I will strive on.
And may God bless all those affected by the tsunami crisis... God give them strength, courage and love. Amen.
1/04/2005 10:18:00 PM
