Saturday, July 21, 2007

救赎

7/21/2007 12:22:00 PM

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

影子

7/11/2007 11:25:00 PM

Monday, July 09, 2007

different expectations

~人不可能会遗忘任何事物，而只是暂时想不起来罢了；

一旦接触过、感受过，

就一定会在生命中留下不可磨灭的烙印。~

What ways are there to view friendship?

Sometimes I feel that I am putting in way too much into this 'friendship'.

I know that whatever happens to you, I will be there for you.

How about vice versa?

I know not.

So what if I am your only listener? Do you see yourself as my listener?

I have a way of screwing things up.

I thought you understood me.

I know I can suck like hell. I can be a complete bitch and a pain in the ass.

Maybe I am taking things for granted. Maybe you are toying with my emotions.

Do you know that I am shedding tears for your attitude towards me?

Do you know that I really treat you as one of my closest friends ever?

Is this how you treat me?

Small and constant betrayals. Intentional inflicting of wounds and fatal words.

Your attitude towards me.

Is it my sensitivity or your insensitivity?

Sometimes I want myself to rethink this whole thing.

I wish I could put in less into our 'friendship'.

One hand ain't gonna do any good when you are trying to clap.

Perhaps this one-way road has stretched for far too long.

I am "plastering my warm face against another's cold butt'.

What good will it do?

I gave you chances to hurt me.

I give you chances to hurt me.

Will I be giving you chances to hurt me?

Maybe 'she' was right, I expect too much out of my friends.

My friendship is too pressurizing.

Which is why, I should never have had friends from the start.

Let this world be just me,

Let me just go in peace and solitude.

Let me cry my heart out,

Let the wall rise between us.

Let me be able to protect myself more,

Let me slowly back away.

Let me untangle all the knots in my bloody head now,

Let me see through these chunks of words that make no sense.

Let me free those I have restrained,

Let me bring joy to those who bear hatred towards me.

Let me wake up,

Let me think logically.

Just let me......

7/09/2007 10:55:00 PM

Thursday, July 05, 2007

碎碎念

~Loving someone doesn’t mean you are in love with someone. ~

哇哈哈哈哈，那天我和兴一起去书店，

却在路上撞见了我爸，他那时的表情和强颜欢笑，

真的是非笔墨所能形容，害得我们俩憋笑憋得差点内伤。

总之他就是超讨厌看到我们俩在一起，

说了几千次了，我们没有在一起，他就是听不进去。唉~~

长久以来一直让我非常喜欢的一首歌

（也不是很久啦，只是从一听到就喜欢了）。。。

“当我和世界不一样那就让我不一样

坚持对我来说就是以刚克刚

我如果对自己妥协如果对自己说谎

即使别人原谅我也不能原谅”

~ 五月天《倔强》~

是倔强？抑或是过于自我中心？不过，无论是前者或后者，这种魄力和勇气是让我十分敬佩的。

“当我和世界不一样那就让我不一样

坚持对我来说就是以刚克刚”

也许这是我所能办到的，或者说，

我自认我自己就是这种人。

（难道此乃“阿莲” 的标准性格特征？？）

我行我素，或许常会被陌生的人或不熟的人误解，

可我也就喜欢照着令自己舒服的步调走下去，

不喜欢为不了解我的人、和我不同调调的人去改变自己，

有够自我对吧？哈哈~

“我如果对自己妥协如果对自己说谎

即使别人原谅我也不能原谅”

这就不一样了。很多人类是懦弱的，

或是自我保护意识很重的，

所以在退却、放弃、自我麻醉或欺骗的同时

都会为自己找诸多借口，

自我安慰，逃避现实。

毕竟，绝大部分的人都是爱着自己的，

很多人都不会想自己让自己的日子太难过，

有几个人可以时时刻刻对自己苛刻严厉呢？

所以，我本人觉得，

能够对自己完全诚实坦然的人，

真的是令我尊敬无比！

这几天我都会住在我大姐家，

果然在这里比在真正的“家”快乐多了，

真希望能一直住下去啊~~

这次的碎碎念，就到此为止咯！

（距离离开乌龟公司还有：六个工作日又五个工作小时！）